Never Say Never

Sharing across cultures in our CHE training.  We have seven
countries represented and even more cultures than that!

“Oh, that would never work in my culture!” said my co-worker repeatedly. We were doing a unit of CHE training that focuses on family issues. It specifically covers the ‘women’s cycle of life,’ lots of family relationships, and the Biblical importance of each person. It was an amazing unit to go through together because most of the topics I had lots of exposure to, I had covered in health class, or I already valued. But for my co-worker from our partner church, it was an eye-opening experience. Most memorable was talking through the birth process and then the benefits to giving the baby immediate skin-to-skin contact. When it was suggested that the father also participate in this, he had a big reaction. But as with the rest of the ideas, he saw most of the others in the group agreeing with the importance of this. And then after processing his objections a little he was willing to think more about it until he would eventually list it as something he is excited to try when he returns home (he’s due to have a new baby soon after arriving home). 

One of the more basic examples was talking about leading a balanced life as a man. We were challenged to think about where we spend our time, and what percentage is spent helping raise a family versus purely individual concerns. He had a big reaction to this as well, sharing that his wife thinks he spends too much time talking with friends instead of being at home. When pressed about this he revealed he might spend 4 or 5 hours in the afternoon out sitting and chatting with his neighbors. As we talked more about his wife's perspective and the needs for love and respect that husbands and wives share, I think he began to realize there are many things that are accepted for men in his culture that aren’t very helpful for family life. 

A fellow classmate of mine from Zimbabwe got
the chance to teach Women's Cycle of Life lessons to
some Maasai women in a local village.

A Problem Posing and Self-Discovery Philosophy

There were also several women in the group that had good questions about these issues compared to the things that women in their culture say and believe, so it was neat as they discovered some misconceptions as well. But as several people from the US and I tried to share our experiences, we had to remember that not everyone in our US culture is just as aware about these things either. And just because we may naturally agree about the need for men and women to share in family responsibilities, it doesn’t mean that our culture has figured out how to make this work or we are good at putting it into practice. 

Trainings like this are designed to help people do self-development and find a more Biblical vision of community.  But the cynic in me also worries that education-heavy conversations like this can become another form of cultural imperialism, where non-Westerners start to feel that their cultures lack so much education and therefore everything Western needs to be accepted to bring 'Gospel truth' and 'prosperity.'  Against this concern I will say that one of the explicit methods of CHE is to be ‘problem posing’ and foster 'self-discovery,' so I can see that in true Gospel fashion they offer challenges to every culture, and are meant to go through the process of point, counter-point, and synthesis for each individual. 

In many ways, I feel like these conversations have been so positive for my co-worker. I know he will face lots of difficulties and pressure against applying all his new CHE ideas when he returns home. But I think it’s been really helpful for him to be at this internship and experience a mature and multi-cultural Christian community that can challenge and encourage him in a way that’s very different from if he were just discussing these ideas with his local peers.

-- El Padre