The Spirituality of Having

Neighborhood boys went through our garbage and found
twice used paper. We had a blast showing them about paper
airplanes. Pictured top left is one of our few remaining mangos.

One part of living in a country ranked at the bottom of the human development index is noticing how much you have in comparison to everyone else. We came with only 7 suitcases of stuff. We have a lot more stuff in our house than our neighbors do. Even in a little fairer comparison to middle-class local friends, we have almost the quantity of stuff as they have collected in a life of living here. But what has hit home for me is the simple truth that the more you have, the more you have to lose or protect or worry about.

Our fruit trees are the prime example of this for me. As we’ve said, we have nice fruit trees on the property, and we have lots of neighborhood people who come in our gate for various reasons and end up picking the un-ripe fruit while we’re not looking. On a mango tree with at least 30 mangos growing originally, we have five left that are a few weeks from being ripe. This is frustrating because we pay the water bill, we use some of our precious water even in this dry season to keep them alive, and we value and look forward to fresh produce some day. But having these things that others don’t have or that others want is taxing physically and spiritually.

Whenever we hear our gate clang shut, we have to wonder who now has access to our trees and what they might be doing. If people are around we feel the impulse to keep a look out on what they’re doing, even if they have legitimate reasons for visiting. Sometimes we have to run out of the house and scold youth as they reach to pick things. I’ve often found myself praying or studying scripture and hearing something going on outside, and my first thoughts are not charitable, but angry at people stealing stuff or taking my time. All because I have what others can’t afford (or don’t take care of themselves). Having lived a pretty protected life, my having stuff has never been such an obvious problem. But in examples like this it is clearer how having more than others can be a stumbling block that distracts us from what is more important. It can definitely plant the seeds of ill-will rather than compassion. Acting in a compassionate way to keep people from broken actions is much harder to do with integrity when you’re in the mindset of “having” rather than the mindset of “giving” or in the role of “not having.” Not having so much stuff is obviously beneficial, and not being so attached to your stuff is a clear goal. But being responsible AND compassionate when you have much is definitely a spiritual struggle.