Waiting is the Hardest Part

Women cooking for a large wedding meal in a village we visited.

As we all know, waiting is hard. It is a challenge to live in the now. I feel like this is something I am continuing to learn from the people here. Patience is a very commendable and desired character trait among the 'Casa' people. Sometimes I feel like it can be an excuse for not having your work done. At the tailors we hear, "The outfits are not finished today as promised." So the tailor says: "Have patience." (Which doesn't feel like it translates well, but culturally makes his lack of work acceptable.) If an item isn't cared for as instructed and so it is ruined: Your loss = Have patience! Grrr. But there are many positive examples of patience throughout the culture too, and interestingly the standard words you speak to someone mourning are "only patience," as if to say that all you can do is have patience in your mourning process.

El Padre has done an excellent job of learning the proverbs in 'Casa'. There are hundreds and they are very important to the people. In fact, when he's able to quote a proverb to someone he will often hear, "You are a real 'Casa' man." Here are two interesting proverbs on patience. "A patient person can cook a rock until he eats broth." And more concisely, "patience is capital." Coming from a country where food security is an issue and many people go hungry- the first proverb is talking about how patience can help you topple even the toughest of problems. The second is seeing patience as an investment for the future. If you have patience, then you have a key resource in order to tackle any project. Patience is a highly revered virtue here.

We have certainly had our practice in patience since moving here. Hiring help has been extremely challenging. Living in close proximity with a local family has required patience. Work always goes slower than we hoped. Paperwork is always a bear. For all of it we are told, "have patience". If you know me very well, efficiency and planning are my forte, not necessarily patience. God is working to file away my rough edges.

As many of you have heard we are in the adoption process and just like everything else it is constantly being delayed. First, we have found it very difficult to identify children in the orphanage who do not have family or parents. Which is actually a wonderful thing! Most of these children have hope to be reunited with their birth families at some point. Second, we are always finding out there is 'one more paper'. Ironically, it is very difficult to adopt a child without parents because of all the corruption in adoptions. If the parents are dead or unknown, then the reason for their giving the child away cannot be verified and it brings in the possibility of trafficking babies. For this reason we have come to find some comfort when we hear their are more papers because we know the laws are working hard to protect the vulnerable children here.

We keep thinking the adoption will be finalized in a month because we keep thinking this is that final paper. The paperwork has yet to be submitted to court. So the adoption will not be finalized before we travel to the States. But we hope to get permission from the uncle, who is now legally the father, for the child to travel with us.  Maybe, maybe, the adoption will be finalized while we are visiting the States. As our oldest child keeps reminding us from her last week of school, "Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." (Proverbs 19:21) Usually, it doesn't go as I plan and I am reminded to "have patience." I must say, it does feel pretty good to be the one saying "have patience" and I love using the expression with my children!

If you are interested in reading some more about the issues with international adoptions, I feel like this blog writer has good experience and perspective: http://gilandamy.blogspot.com/2016/03/i-wish-it-wasnt-true-dark-side-of_7.html

-- La Maestra